This is an authentic dream I dreamt in the beginning of May. The thesis
was more or less finished and would be sent to the printer in a couple
of days, the thesis defence was to be in one month and I was down on
Corsica for a couple of days, trying to keep the thoughts on other
things. If you don't understand the Harry Potter references, just grab
any ten-year-old kid on the street and he or she will explain
everything. Or read the books; they are actually quite fun.
THE HARRY POTTER STYLE THESIS DEFENCE
It is the end of the schoolyear at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and
Wizardry and everybody is sitting at the three long tables in the big
hall, waiting for the headmaster Dumbledore to enter the stage and make
his end of the year speech, awarding points to the different houses at
the school to decide on the winning house of the year.
In comes Dumbledore, in a red wizard robe and the traditional pointy
hat. The beard is as long as usual, but in a less grayish white shade -
because Dumbledore turns out to be just an alias for [my
supervisor] Björn Granström, who seems to be pretty much at ease in the
unusual wizard clothes and with the longer beard.
Instead of just awarding the points he tells everyone that the ceremony
will now continue with a thesis defence and ask the defendant, a feeble
looking boy who sits at the end of one of the tables, to step forward.
The boy silently gets up, trying to hide from all the stares, and walks
miserably towards the podium. As he is walking he starts to pick up
courage and finally feels intimidated, but rather strong when he reaches
the stage.
He steps into the defendants box, looking defiantly back at all the
glares.
Then, his legs start to shake, because in comes the examination
committe, three old [sorry for that, Björn Lindblom, Arne-Kjell Foldvik and Johan Sundberg] and
very, very wise wizards. The big hall is completely silent now, it is a
great honour to have these legendary wizards at Hogwarts. They look very
grim in their sparkling green robes and pointy hats. And what is even
more scary is that they are carrying a huge sword - the judgement sword,
that will make the decision as to whether the thesis will pass. Just as
the Hogwarts sorting hat, the sword is magical and alive, now floating
in the air in front of the committee, and if it points upwards at the
end of the defence, the thesis is accepted. If it points to the floor...
then goodbye Hogwarts for the miserable defendant.
Björn-Dumbledore now calls in the external examiner Joe [Perkell], a lively
looking wizard in a purple robe, a pointy hat with stars and a broad
smile. The examiner is cheered as a great star by the audience and he
runs a round of honour, waving at all his fans in the audience.
Björn-Dumbledore then gives hime the written instructions for the
defence. It looks like a roll of really old paper - but it is actually a
fax [ah, the modern times come even to the wizards] with secrets on the
thesis that only the examiner gets to see. Björn-Dumbledore then pulls
out two small swords and hands them over to the examiner and the
defendant. He tells the combattants and the audience that the swords
have been enchanted to reflect the strength, the weaknesses and the
possible flaws of the thesis. In this way, the sword fight between the
examiner and the defendant will reflect how good the thesis is, the
swords giving the strength to the combattant who has the strongest
position regarding the academic issues.
The fight starts and it is pretty even. The examiner really likes
fightening, the smile broadens and he attacks happily. The defendant is
however not totally taken aback. He counterattacks and is doing quite
well. The fight goes on over larger and larger areas of the stage - even
on the table of the examination committee, who surprisingly looks at
this with great approval. Everything seems to run smoothly.
But then, the examiner turns out to be an animagus* and turns himself
into a wolf, making a violent attack [I think this should be interpreted
as "the fax contained information about a serious flaw in the thesis and
the examiner is now attacking that very weak point."]. The defendant is
doing really badly; he is chased and he is wounded from the ferocious
fangs that the examiner is sporting. It really looks as if the tip of
the judgement sword is going to incline down towards the floor.
Not everything is lost though; the defendant feels something in his
pocket. It is the "Lord of the Doctoral Rings" that he has been confided
for some mysterious reason. Gently he slips his hand into his pocket and
puts the ring onto his finger and [of course you are all guessing what
happens in this part] he disappears into thin air. The examiner looks
stunned, so does the examination committee, Björn-Dumbledore and the
audience...
... and the dreamer, as he wakes up at this moment. What happened? Did
he pass or not? On the one hand he was able to avoid the attack from the
examiner, but on the other, was it cheating to disappear like that? What
would the judgement sword say to this? It was a great relief that the
examiner did not tear the poor little wizarding boy appart, but how
should the disappearing be interpreted? Was it that the defendant had
some secret strong card up his sleeve that he could play if he was being
cornered and that he would then be able to pass the exam? Or was the
disappearing just a way to sneak away, avoiding all the shame and the
blame, turn the back to KTH (sorry, "Hogwarts") and leave for the muggle
industry?
Well, "Harry Potter" are books for children and they should hence end
on a happy note, so the end of the dream probably was happy. And, more
importantly, the ending in reality was happy (if I am not dreaming
still...).
* a wizard who can turn him- or herself into an animal.
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